Crank High Voltage Review

Having an eight year old means watching pretty much every PG and U cert movie ever released. Which has its upsides -- 'Finding Nemo', 'The Incredibles' and also it's downsides -- pretty much everything else.

So it was nice to see a grown-up movie last night for a change. That's grown-up as in an 18 cert but not in any other sense.

I hadn't seen the first Crank movie and asked my brother-in-law if I might find the plot hard to follow as a result. He had a good laugh at that. Ten minutes in I kind of understood why.

Starring Jason Statham of 'Transporter' fame, 'Crank 2' bears certain similarities to those movies but appears to have ingested vast quantities of steroids and speed somewhere along the way.

Basically Statham's character (Chev Chevios) is a hitman who has his heart surgically removed and has to get it back before he dies. The end.

But in between there are 1001 great excuses for copious quantities of mindless violence, gratuitous sex and nudity, generous use of the F and C words, some nasty mutilation and several incredibly tasteless takes on tourettes and racial stereotypes.

So if that lot sounds a bit gross, I personally wouldn't bother, but if you fancy a laugh out loud, gross-out, knuckle-headed actioner where little old ladies get treated like 'his little whore' and a guy with tourettes attempts kung fu, then you've probably just landed in heaven.

Statham falls out a helicopter and survives, a girl gets hit murderously by a car and gets up and swears and a disembodied head even manages a few expletives, so it's fair to assume that events are not based on a true story.

But lots of things blow up, the body count could fill several morgues and there are more breasts on display than the average poultry processing plant can manage. And older viewers may be surprised to see not only Geri Halliwell but David Carradine making an appearance, both to no great effect, but it's just funny that they're in there.

Statham's body takes more punishment than all of Arnie & Van Damme's films combined and of course he's just fine (until the end anyway mwa ha ha), so don't fret about our hero queueing for hours in A&E like the rest of us.

Great soundtrack too though a few Velvet Acid Christ tunes could have added that extra little smidgeon of cinematic magic.

This is enjoyable, preposterously non-PC nonsense and great for escaping the harsh realities of well pretty much everything. Shocking to admit but I liked it.

The LOLZ Catz

Well two months since my last post and I'm doing one about silly cat pictures.
WTF I hear you say. Or if you're over 30 what does WTF mean? Ask your kids.

But why not do one on silly cat pics? The LOLZ Catz are a new discovery for me which probably means they've been around for about 20 years. There are literally hundreds of these masterfully captioned pics around but I'm just including a few that genuinely made me LOL. I love cats and I love daft captions so this is just the ticket. And being me the first one is of a dog.

Don't worry Steve I'll get down to some serious posts soon. Probably. And Katie & Jackie I AM working on the fandom one -- not as if I don't have plenty of raw material lol.

2008

A defiantly different year, 2008 was dominated by my unexpected passion for West End theatre, and for one protagonist in particular.

In January, at the end of a run of 27 shows, my daughter appeared on stage in the 'Wizard of Oz' alongside Liam Neeson, Jimmy Nesbitt and one Rachel Tucker. This was certainly a proud moment, but I had absolutely no idea what it would lead to.

Rachel of course was one of 10000 who auditioned for the BBC 'I'd Do Anything' series, beginning shortly after Oz ended.
I hadn't really watched any of the previous 'search for a West End star' shows, but given the Rachel connection, I thought I'd give this one a go.
Not everything went to plan for the Belfast lass, but she managed to reach the semi-final, where she gave the performance of a lifetime. The judges were on their feet, ALW was raving and a place in the final seemed assured. But of course that wasn't counting the public vote, and Rachel was unceremoniously dumped.

I wanted to do something -- anything -- that would prevent Rachel slipping back into obscurity. Having 'met' Andy on a forum, we set up the 'Rachel Tucker Fan Blog', which immediately, much to our surprise, attracted a sizeable and faithful audience. Perhaps the most important audience member was Rachel herself, who has contributed several articles.



The blog itself can't take any of the credit for Rachel's subsequent West End success, but I like to think we've helped to build her fanbase, publicise her PAs and generally celebrate her phenomenal talent.
I've noted with some alarm the actions and unwanted attentions of various fans of other theatrical celebrities, and have done my level best to make sure that this hasn't happened to Rachel, largely I hope successfully.
The fan/star relationship can be a complex and difficult one, something which I intend to do a post on in the near future. I do hope we've got it right in this case.


Running Rachel's blog has had several excellent perks. I've got to meet some wonderful people, attended four West End shows and discovered London.

First to the people -- I initially met Karen, Rachel's close friend, when we went to see her perform in Killarney in August. Karen is a real gem -- disarmingly and delightfully honest, funny and hugely talented. As is hubby Richard and future star Matthew.

Then there was Rachel's WWRY opening night in September, where I met Andy, Rosie, Katie, Jackie, Hannah, Jo, Liv and some of Rachel's family, all for the first time.

Andy is a really great guy -- friendly, thoughtful, modest and a joy to work with.
Rosie is a relentlessly upbeat person with an incredible sense of humour and an awesome knowledge of the West End.

Katie -- what can I say? Running Jessie's blog single-handedly is a tough job -- she has proved herself more than capable. She is single-minded and resilient, sensitive and thoughtful. She is a credit to her wonderful family, whom I have had the pleasure of meeting. Katie will go far and it is a priviledge to know her.

Jackie has been an absolute revelation -- we corresponded for some time -- same generation, Kate Bush fans, similar literary style and humour. We met at WWRY opening night and subsequently at ALNM. Jackie is charming, sincere, funny and just plain great.

And Rachel herself -- the whole package. Star quality, a heart of gold, wilfully ambitious and hard-working, she is simply an inspiration to everyone.

It's a testament to Rachel as a person that her fans on the blog have been literally queueing up to write virtual essays on how she influenced their year.

For everything Rachel has done and the people she has enabled me to meet, a big big thank you.

Also in showbiz, 2008 turned up an interesting bunch on X-Factor. The final may have been dull, but here are my two favourite acts, who came fourth and fifth.
Meet Ruth and Diana, pictured here in my living room. Possibly.



Happy New Year everyone!

End of the Road for Woolworths

It's sad but certainly not unexpected. For the last year or so I've wandered into Woolworths and wondered what their reason for existence actually was. Pretty much everything they stocked could be bought more cheaply in Tesco and their displays and range seemed in search of a guiding hand.

Nevertheless the speed and timing (pre-Christmas) of the end were a shock and the loss of some 27000 jobs is a devestating blow.

For a forty something like myself, Woolies holds a special place in my formative years, particularly from a musical perspective. They were always great for cheap 7" singles, often reduced to 35p within minutes of dropping out of the charts and had a great selection of LPs and subsequently CDs. Laterally the writing has been on the wall with shrinking musical displays and more space devoted to DVDs, but nevertheless those of a certain age will lament the demise of a little part of our past.

Goodbye Woolies and thanks for the memories.

Jessie's Opening Night

On 22nd November, I travelled to London to see Jessie's debut in 'A Little Night Music' in the Menier in Southwark.
Meeting up with Jackie and Katie, I had a wonderful evening and am here publishing Jackie's superb review, which sums up the evening better than I ever could:

Ever left the theatre and wanted to walk straight back in to see a production all over again? Exactly my feeling last year exiting the National Theatre after seeing 'War Horse' - visually and emotionally stunning,'a childrens story that reduces adults to tears'. Then came 'A Little Night Music' at the Menier Chocolate Factory, quite opposite in genre but as unforgettable and engaging. I can't imagine why I had not discovered this piece before, so rich one could relish this experience over again. I visit the theatre frequently but this was my first Sondheim show. I've never written a review either, so this is simply observation,and a combination of two incredible evenings.

There is nothing to compare with the joy and privilege of that opening night -celebrating Jessie's professional theatre(dress rehearsal)debut,in such a welcoming and intimate environment, in the very best of company with friends Katie, David and some familiar faces.

No, I don't hold a MCF season ticket! But later, when my other half walks through the door with two tickets for ALNM on my birthday, sacrificing tickets for England v's the All Blacks that same day - I dont turn it down ! (Safe in the knowledge I won't miss Jonny Wilkinson who's still injured...it beats last years offering -a trip to John Lewis to purchase a tumble dryer...another chance to see this production...a 'no brainer'.)

I'm familiar with the MCF, it's as delightful and endearing as the ALNM cast,the two perfectly matched. This was a first to see a Sondheim production in this special little space and I was smitten by the entire experience. Astonishingly, so was 'Mr Critical' who guffawed and sniggered throughout, exclaiming 'absolutely brilliant' by the interval - why bother with the West End and what a result. (better than an England,Hakka hammering and much warmer).

Not wishing to dwell on the past, but in a matter of months ,the blessing in disguise not winning IDA,and escape from the media circus, is born out by the sheer pace of development in Jessie, witnessed at the MCF,hopefully dispelling any doubts from the faithless,with performances surpassing her years in maturity and measuring up to her on stage colleagues, who are of the highest calibre.

At the flick of a lace hankerchief, Jessie takes us through the turmoil faced by the vain young bride Anne, her highs and lows,tears and laughter. Anne, a master at avoiding the subject of her husband's desires, whilst adoring the flattery of young Henrik's gaze, as he looks on like a forlorn labrador puppy. Notable is the extraordinary control over the accent we usually love to hear,this is surely a challenge itself-just watch it grow in confidence between now and March. The beautiful solo song 'Soon' reiterating Jessie's vocal ability. This convincing evidence of hard work and development is enough to inspire any young creative to persevere.

The plot,a jolly good romp and sensitive fairy tale, in my view must be 'experienced 'and not just read', a delicate mix of shades from Midsummer Nights Dream, A Country Wife, Fielding's Tom Jones and Woody Allen. Every part of the space is used,the beauty of such a tiny theatre, allows every gesture to be shared,and one rapidly engages with the characters with an intimacy no other venue provides. Virtually three hours on that opening night flew by.

Under Nunn's direction Jessie displays a range of emotions at every interaction and glance, through the impressively witty and rich and moving script. Comedy is difficult to do well, but the timing delivered works and Jessie as a natural 'expressive' shines. Look out for sarcasm and those sharp cutting comments, squeezed out at opportune moments, quick or it's gone - Mr Nunn & his skillful cast don't miss a trick.

Maureen Lipman (a favourite actress) playing an astute commanding Madame Armfeldt is superb. I loved her Joyce Grenville show previously and now playing a combination of my stern headmistress Sister Cuthbert with her devestating stare and sharp, worldly wise, great grandma, who lived to 100. Intimidating-yes.

In the second act, Hannah Waddingham with amazing stage presence,showed me what 'Send In The Clowns' really means.I have never engaged with this song until now (sorry. A highlight of the show and sublime, when in context and integral to the dialogue, bringing tears of sympathy for her vivacious character, Desiree.

Alexander Hanson is totally charming alongside Jessie. In the theatre scene the two characters sit among the audience. I found myself being greeted by 'good evening' from Fredrick as he and Anne sat next to me on the steps. 'Good evening to you ' I answered. The characters exchange comments, then sit momentarily frozen in time, mid applause...not a flicker, total professionalism, immensely impressive. Ann delivers a perfecty peevish and livid 'I want to go home!' and flounces her exit via the back row. A most excellent strop Jessie.

'Every Day A Little Death' sung by Jessie and Kelly is touching and sensitively played, the tears are real.

'A Weekend In The Country'...I love to see Jessie sing this cleverly crafted and tricky song. As expressive as ever, eyebrows in overdrive, she rapidly shifts between sarcasm, paranoia, jealousy, disgust, insecurity, anticipation, mischief,(she's good at mischief,very good)and steals laughter with one of the songs best lines. She seems in her element at the end of the first act.

Act two,or 'Babes in the Wood' as it could be renamed, sees the mismatched couples find their happiness with their rightful partners,with the help and freedom of the great outdoors.

The best came with the unexpected. Opening night had the cast taking a bow, but a week later,curtain calls were in order. As Jessie and Gabriel stepped forward,I was on my feet,a proud 'bravo', a most memorable standing ovation,and no one deserved this moment more than Jessie.
(I was already standing at Hyde park,so that doesnt count !). I noted my husband also on his feet in applause,he never does this...ever.

I can only imagine that perhaps this show and schedule is totally rewarding and exhiliaratng but tough, with much to learn between now and March. Jessie has risen admirably to the challenges faced since the distant days of IDA, and like the unassuming Charlie Bucket, young Ms Buckley has won the prize worth waiting for,on her own merit...the key to the gates of the Chocolate Factory. Thus becoming part of Nunn's unique production,and one of gravitas - a perfect role. It's called landing on your feet.

We await the press...

WWRY London Trip

All the main details are on the Rachel blog, but 22nd September was Rachel's opening night in We Will Rock You and over a dozen of us made the trip to London to see her. And damn it was a brilliant day.



















I travelled from Belfast with my brother-in-law who knows absolutely nothing about Rachel, IDA or WWRY. He just fancied a couple of days in London and I'm very glad I brought him as I haven't been in the city since well, quite a few years shall we say. We flew into Stansted and travelled by train to Liverpool Street. I was immediately stumped by the underground system and those mysterious Oyster cards people were waving about. Fortunately my brother-in-law was clued in and in no time at all we were all aboard the sardine tin, sorry tube and en route to Tottenham Court Road to check out the theatre. We arrived outside at 9.10am a mere ten hours early. Still it was an ideal opportunity to plan the route to the stage door.

Following an extortionately expensive breakfast in Oxford Street, we headed off to see the sights -- Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Downing Street all that stuff. Having located our Travel Lodge in Southwark, we parted ways. I met up with three delightful members of the Buckley Brigade for lunch and a very relaxing afternoon while my brother-in-law met up with a friend elsewhere.

At 6pm we arrived at the Dominion to try to guess who everyone was. Several other BB members had arrived, as well as Chris and Jo. Jo had been lucky enough to snap up Chris's spare ticket that very day and was even luckier to be sitting front row circle with the two most famous bloggers in the theatre. Talking of famous bloggers, where the heck was Andy? The guy had my tickets so I was rather hoping he would show up.

Several people came over to chat. They turned out to be Rachel's family and had some very nice things to say about the blog. Shucks.

Rosie and Eleanor arrived. I recognised Rosie immediately as we have exchanged enough Facebook messages to crash the average hard-drive. But just as I was about to go over for a chat, some bloke asked if I was David. I concurred and shook his hand asking him who he was. 'I'm Andy.' Ooops. I blame beer.

Andy was of course a great guy and we got on really well the entire evening.

We all went inside and headed to the bar. Well they called it a bar -- it looked more like a hole in a wall to me. But then they probably haven't been to Belfast where bars are done properly. Karen arrived with her hubby Richard, who turned out to be a really top guy with a great sense of humour. Team Tucker were understandably entranced to be in such close proximity to close friends of Rachel's and hung on their every word. Which is fair enough as I did too.

Then Jodie and Ashley wandered into the foyer. Several of us in TT had been wondering for weeks if any of the IDA girls would attend and if so who they might be. I honestly don't think anyone guessed correctly. Jodie was really down-to-earth and happy to chat and pose for photos with Rosie, Eleanor and Hannah amongst others.

Soon it was time for the performance and we found our seats. Being front row circle, we had a super view and the show started immediately. The first twenty minutes were entertaining but we needed something more. Then suddenly there was that classic Belfast accent wafting across the auditorium! Yes!!!! We were in the right place.

Rachel commanded the stage -- that's the only word for it. Her duet with Brit of 'I Want It All' was impressive but OMG -- 'No-One But You (Only The Good Die Young)' was something else. Far and away the highlight of the show, Rachel pulled this demanding number off effortlessly. I clapped till my hands were sore. Everything I had ever hoped for Rachel was encapsulated in that moment. Bliss.

The interval was welcome as someone had drunk a little too much. So after the joy of the queue for the loo (more toilets in the Dominion please thank you) I rejoined a stunned TT in the foyer. Karen looked close to tears. Everyone was just raving about Rachel.

Second half and there just wasn't enough Rachel. It was a great show and a lot of fun with super music, but we wanted more Rachel and we wanted it now. Every time she took the stage it was like she owned the place. Talk about a vocation. I've now seen Rachel perform six times in five different productions and every time she has exceeded my already huge expectations. Sorry I'm raving again. If you're a fan of Rachel you NEED to see WWRY. Several times.

Following the final curtain, we made our way out to the foyer and Andy and I met Rachel's sister Margaret and Aunt Susan. They were both just lovely and so appreciative of our efforts for Rachel. We had some photos taken and then a photo op with TT and Karen outside.

At this point Karen & Richard headed off to Rachel's family's hotel and the rest of us went to the stage door which I had checked out that morning. There were quite a few waiting, including Jodie & Ashley who once again posed for photos, including one with that lucky dog Chris Hawley. Nice one!

After a few false alarms, the stage door opened and there was Rachel with Guy -- a bloke who looked fit to burst with pride. Poor Rachel must have got a 'quer gunk' as we say in Belfast to be greeted by dozens of camera and a huge cheer. Bless her she had the patience of a saint, posing for photos (in some cases a second time -- you know who you are Rosie and Andy lol), signing autographs and chatting away. As always she couldn't have been nicer and finally left with Guy to meet her family and friends. TT parted ways and my brother-in-law confessed to being impressed with her performance, probably the ultimate accolade.

The next day we did more of the London thing -- I had to be abandoned in a cafe due to my legs ceasing to work -- hey Karen DID say London was tiring and she wasn't joking. I was also propositioned by a lady of the night during the day which was interesting but I politely declined. All part of the London experience I'm sure.

Back at the airport, we met Rachel's family in the departure lounge and as before they were just lovely people, rounding off an absolutely fabulous two days.

Before the flight I checked out the blog and was delighted with Rosie's and Karen's reviews, not to mention the ITN interview and stage footage.

I also want to say a special thank you to Rachel's family who were incredibly nice to me. It's very easy to see where Rachel gets her lovely nature from.

It was an absolutely brilliant couple of days and I'm going back in November for another helping.

Catherine

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